Month: March 2012

Accepting the Compliment

I have always been afraid to outwardly admit that I am “good enough”.  I have always kept myself a rung or 2 lower than I probably deserve.  I have forever countered compliments with a negative, or something to dispute what is being said.

In high school, I was a state-recognized, record-holding soccer goalie, but at the time, you would never hear me call myself good.  I was the team captain, a “leader” on the field, was congratulated by parents, teachers, and classmates after good games, but I always acted as if it was all a fluke.  I had this fear that if I ever let myself believe that I was actually talented, that would open the flood gates for someone to disagree.  If I didn’t say it, I didn’t have to defend it, or I could say, “I told you so”, if I ever failed.

To this day if anyone compliments me on an accomplishment, or even my looks, I answer with something self-deprecating, remark about my weight, how I think my hair is stringy, or how my skin is like that of a middle school boy going through puberty.

I ran my first marathon last October, and any time someone congratulated me I would focus on the fact that I didn’t hit my time goal, or I had to walk for a mile because of heat and I had been sick all week.  When I crossed the finish line, I didn’t feel accomplished, my first thought was, “welp, gotta do better next time”.  

My habit of downplaying and degrading myself really hit me when I was telling one of my best friends about how I felt after the marathon, and her answer was like a hilarious slap in the face: “Quite frankly, that is really dumb”.

I just busted out laughing, because it was so true!  This was a conversation over G-chat, but I could just see her expression and hear the tone in her voice as she said it!  She was so right though!  What is with the safety net for failure that I carry around? That so many people carry around?! It is like giving yourself permission to fail because you never actually said you were going to succeed in the first place.  Training and finishing a marathon was probably one of the first things that I allowed myself to succeed at and I even try to kill that.  No wonder my life is floating around mediocrity, I haven’t even opened myself up to feel deserving of a compliment, much less the best my life has to offer. 

People say, “you get what you deserve”, but I believe that you get what you accept to expect to deserve.  It is time to switch the thinking.  Of course, there is always room to be better and improve, but not at the expense of what you have already done.  Whether it be running a marathon, a 5k, potty training your dog, or keeping a clean room for more than a week, do not be afraid to pat yourself on the back and recognize the victories you have every day, big or small. 

So, if you are anything like me, learn to accept compliments, admit when you have had a good game, or accomplished something.  Open yourself up to believing in being worthy of the life you want!  

Cheers!

Are Treadmills the Perfect Piece Of Exercise Equipment

And Off We Go…

There is a key habit that all writers must undertake in order to be writers, and that is to actually write.  The second would probably be to put what they write “out there” for people to read, and this brings us to here. 

Hi.

I have always been, what I considered, a natural writer.  I do best expressing myself through written word and always enjoyed putting pen to paper (or finger to keyboard), so it has become my life’s passion and ultimate goal to be a writer. 

Lucky for me, I took an interest to reading at a very young age, learning whatever letters I could, then reading the titles off of books in my room once I could piece them together.  My favorite workbook of choice was “Are you there God?  It’s me, Margaret”, probably because it had a number of manageable words in the title. (Side note: I never actually read the book, just went through and underlined every word I could sound out, which was really a lot of “the”.  From what I understand it’s about a girl getting her period?  Don’t ask why this was a staple in my bookshelf for as long as I can remember).

Now to the title of this blog: writing makes me happy and has always been a safe outlet for me.  I have been struggling through a quarterlife crisis for most of my twenties and have finally shifted my focus on what it is that makes me, and will make me, happy.  At the wise age of 27 (yeah, right!), I have finally accepted that happiness is a way of life, not a destination.  That phrase was first spoken by someone who was actually wise, forgive me, I forget who, but I believe it takes some level of wisdom to believe it. 

So, instead of focusing on what I don’t have, where I’m not at, and what I haven’t accomplished, I need to shift my sights on where I want to be, how I get there, and what I already have and do that makes me happy. 

Note that this isn’t a journey to get me happy, I already am a happy person, but it is an encouraging place for stepping stones on how to become the person I want to be, and hopefully can help any readers too. 

I must also note that I am a Gemini, so though this will be an upbeat blog, it will not follow the same subject at all times, but stick with me 😉

Health and Happiness!