We don’t suffer from many natural disasters here in Michigan, just the occasional tornado here and there in the spring, like last Tuesday.
It had been raining and storming all day (side note: I LOVE storms). When I got home, letting the dog out, I heard a tornado siren go off in the distance, but it was so far away, I didn’t think anything of it and proceeded to start making dinner.
10 or so minutes later, my phone is chirping, warning me that there is a tornado watch in my area, so I immediately turn on the news, and sure enough, warnings all over the place! The ticker tape across the bottom of the screen is telling me to seek shelter, get away from windows, get in a basement if I have one, and make sure I have supplies just in case. The only “supplies” we keep stocked in our basement is booze and beer, so note to self to make an emergency kit for the basement.
Anywho, the dog has since come back inside, dinner is progressing nicely with water boiling, oven pre-heating, when the sirens in my neighborhood go off. It was my understanding that sirens only go off once a tornado has touched down, so I immediately begin gathering my kids (dog and cat), to head to the basement. Peyton always sleeps under the couch, so I run over to it, pick it up, and all but throw it to the side, and grab her out from under it. With Peyton under one arm, I grab Max’s collar to head downstairs.
At the top of the stairs, Max comes to a dead stop, pushing both front paws against the door frame and refuses to go any further. He is starting to whine, trying to back up, shaking his head. He has never had a problem with the basement before! Why now?! My idiot brain immediately thinks, “OMG it is haunted down there and he knows it!”, but I would rather take on a ghost than a tornado at this point. And yes, I do watch too much discovery channel.
As I’m pleading with Max to just come with me and to trust me, Peyton starts to notice that her big brother is freaking out, so she starts to freak out. Meowing and twisting and trying to get free.
The dog is whining, the cat is freaking out, I am fighting with them both at once, the water is boiling over on the stove, the oven is beeping because it is fully heated, sirens are going off, so I let go of both kids and just yelled, “FINE! We can all die together while I make a delicious meal!”.
They both just sat there and looked at me as I overhead the weather man on television say, “If you are in Lansing and hear sirens going off, you can ignore those. There is no immediate danger or threat of a tornado in your area.”
Well, fuck you very much…
Dinner was delicious at least.