Paul cautiously retrieves the tree from the shed where I stored it and didn’t properly tape the boxes up… but we proceed because we are just so damn excited to get our tree up: 

I then realize that Paul, always having real trees, doesn’t know how to fluff a branch:

Then Paul’s suspicions come true when we discover that some crafty squirrel has made tree box #1 its food storage unit:

upon realizing this, we also realize that our tree has been predecorated in squirrel shit.  The call is made to throw the tree out.  Win for Paul, we are getting a real tree.

Well done, squirrel, well done.

And of course I made Paul put all of these back outside by the shed for the poor squirrel that we took them from.

Oh, Merry Christmas world…