Last night, on my birthday eve, I decided a glass of wine was in order to celebrate my last night as a 28-year-old… or a bottle, as it were.
A few sheets to the wind later, as Paul and I were enjoying trashy TV night, (Bachelorette, I love you), I was greatly disturbed by a commercial for “one-swipe eyeliner”.
“BULLSHIT!”, I yelled, jumping off the couch and grabbing my makeup bag, mirror, and planting my butt where I do my makeup in the living room window.
“One-swipe eyeliner?! I will show you what happens when you try to “one-swipe” your eyeliner.”
Paul, not being shocked any more by my uncontrollable outbursts, sat patiently as I haphazardly ran liquid eyeliner across my top lids, screwing up the second eye which caused me to yell, “SEE! here’s swipe 2, and 3, and whoops, missed a spot! Eyeliner deserves the respect of more than one-swipe!”
This escalated quickly, and I just kept going. “Wanna see drag queen makeup?”… who was Paul to say no? The wine sure as hell wasn’t, and it was my birthday eve…and it went downhill. Downhill fast.
Three layers of lipstick, blush, more bronzer than a real housewife, drawn in eye brows and blue eye shadow out to my temples later, it had officially turned into Hott Mess Monday.
I sent a few slefies to my bestie for proof of my playtime:
Am I turned on? Am I pooping? Only Paul and my carpet will ever know.
I am happy to report that I had the good sense to wash my face before I passed out on the couch, completely missing who the Bachelorette sent home, and apparently a very sweet good night from my beloved who dragged me off the couch and tucked me into bed. He had to repeat it this morning to me because my only response was a grunt, and I am pretty sure a majestic glint of drool coming out of the side of my mouth.
Oh the adventures of loving me… sorry, honey 🙂
This morning, I woke up refreshed and ready to take on 29! Wine helps you sleep like a champ!
I had a hearty birthday breakfast:
And was welcomed by vegan treats in my office from co-workers and my work wife 🙂
It is only 10:30am and this birthday has been amazing 🙂
I hope everyone is having a wonderful day as well! And fear not, I will have something deep to say about getting older later 🙂
This was definitely one of the funnier ones!!
Let me give you the same wisdom about getting older that I gave Terrell yesterday. You will find that you accidentally fart a lot when you don’t mean to. I’m just sayin. It happens. You’re welcome in advance.