happiness

I have been a terrible tumblr friend!

As most of you who read my blog regularly should know, I just started a new job 2 weeks ago.  And let me tell you what: It has Owned. My. Life.

But in a good way.

A work my brain, can’t wait to get to bed at night, exhausting myself, type of way.  But again, it has been great.  I work with an amazing group of people, I am learning a lot, and there is so much room for growth.  It is really very exciting.

With that being said, I have almost completely  taken September off…from everything.  I have only run a handful of times, I have only been to the gym once or twice, and since I was offered my new job and started panicking, I have been eating my feelings (terrible, I know).  But then, I just took eating and losing weight off of my list of stressors.  I just stopped restricting myself and ate whatever I wanted.

It has felt great!

I haven’t let myself go completely, but I just haven’t worried about Paul and me ordering pizza for dinner and then eating dessert, or me having fries with dinner.  Today while I was shaving my legs in the shower, I noticed that I have a stomach roll that wasn’t there about a month ago… but I didn’t freak out.

Tomorrow starts a new month, and now that I am into my routine with work I can head back to the gym, and my play time is over.  My body deserves to go back to the great food I was feeding it before and start treating myself better.  October is going to be “processed free food” month, as well as goal setting time (eg. next marathon, half marathon, tri, crossfit competition). Oh, and no weigh ins allowed.

Again, it is not like I have completely let myself go, it was just a stress free month on that front.  It was also a little bit of a mental check, and it was good to realize that I can still love myself after gaining a few pounds (note that I haven’t actually stepped on the scale, but it is probably 5 or so)… but at the end of the day, I still love myself, and I haven’t lost any worth.  

And that is a big step for me.

Hope you are all doing well, and happy October!

I love the idea of the big life – the life that matters, the life that makes a difference. The life where stuff happens, where people take action. The opposite of the life where the girl can’t even speak to the boy she likes; the opposite of the life where the friends aren’t even good friends, and lots of days are wasted away feeling bored and kind of okay, like nothing matters much.

E. Lockhart, Fly on the Wall  (via bourbonandpearls)

I have been terrible lately!

I have haven’t been posting, I haven’t been lifting, at least I have been running and doing my squats every day (which really doesn’t sound like a lot).

In all honesty, I have kind of been freaking out about my new job that starts a week from Monday.  I have this terrible habit of over-thinking some things and this is one of them, just because so much about it is unknown. 

This is a huge opportunity for me and it will open so many doors but also challenge me on many levels I am sure.  I try to live my life never backing down from a challenge and have tried to make a point to not let fear steer my direction (which can be really hard), so I flip between SUPER excited to petrified.  Either way, I am going to make it great and run with this opportunity.

I am hoping this new routine will give me an opportunity to change up my schedule a bit and get my runs or workouts done in the morning.  It will be weird to not be part of the fitness community as a professional for the time being, because I LOVE being surrounded by so much knowledge.  I have been so blessed to be here at State of Fitness.  I am still studying for my personal training exam (which has also deterred me from updating) and still aim to get my masters in Sports and Health Psychology, but instead of now having my day job being in the health industry and my “side job” being a writer, it will be reversed.

Here’s to diving into the future!

If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.