I don’t know how else to put it other than I am struggling.  My weight doesn’t seem to want to budge (in fact, it has crept up a few pounds), and it is just deflating.

I pulled up my official race photos from my last half-marathon and was almost instantly brought to tears.  I hated what I saw.  It was one of those moments when I felt embarrassed to be me, to be walking around looking like this every day.  

I get mad at that, and then I get even more mad because I just don’t get it.  I understand that everyone is different, everyone is built different, and we all gain and lose weight differently, but I try SO HARD.  I lead an active, healthy lifestyle, and it seems that even maintaining my current slightly over-weight figure is hard.  Losing seems IMPOSSIBLE!

On Saturday alone, I took a group coaching class at the gym (a.k.a. a total ass kicker), rode my bike and then swam laps.  This was after more bike riding and a killer strength training session on Friday.

I run a very fine line between keeping a healthy mind-set about it and sliding into a very negative and unhealthy mind-set.  At the end of the day, I will always do right by my body and not jeopardize or compromise my health, but it is a struggle to keep my head up about it.

On today’s agenda, I have a bike ride, a run, and a strength training session at the gym.  The workouts will help make me feel better.  And next week, I will be at my cottage all week where I can run, bike ride, and swim to my hearts content.   It is such a relaxing place where I can refocus and get some positive energy flowing again.

One thing that I struggle with in regards to this whole thing is that I am in the bestconditionof my life but not in the bestshapeof my life.

So, today I will try and focus on the fact that I am healthy, I am strong, and hopefully soon the rest will fall into place.